Your provider- The key to a beautiful birth.

One of my favorite CNM's Danielle Demeter said.... "I don't care where you choose to birth but with WHOM you choose to birth." This statement could not be more true.

It seems that many women fall into the "oh he is so nice!" trap. I admit being lured to such a trap but somehow managed to switch providers before my birth became a repeat of my recommending friend. (Who after telling me about the pitocin, episitomy and forcep delivery won me over by telling me how incredibly kind her doc was throughout the procedure.)

My first official doula client chose her provider based on the "niceness" factor. As it turned out... her very kind Dr. turned out to be nicknamed "the vacuum doc" (as he vacuum extracts all first babies) and was NOT nice once told "NO!" In fact, he resorted to name calling and threats when my client begged him to just let her tear and not cut an episiotomy and his tantrum worked. She walked away with a HORRIBLE birth story and realized that he wasn't so nice after all.
I am bringing this up because in my experience as a doula I have found many potential clients who don't seem to realize how important the provider really is. These care providers are creatures of habit. Some routinely cut episiotomies. Some insist all women birth with epidurals. Some even discourage women from taking childbirth classes or having doulas so they can be their clients ONLY source of information.

If you choose a provider her is a creature of such habits you are very likely to be subjected to these things regardless of what your birth plan states, or what you have previously discussed, so how do you know when you have chosen such a provider? ASK QUESTIONS and don't be afraid to switch providers.

First of all, when looking for a provider lean to people who support or have experienced the type of birth you are seeking. If you are seeking a non intervened unmedicated birth start with natural birth friendly people. Doula's are a great source of information regarding providers who are supportive (or unsupportive) of such births and you can find many local doulas who are willing to just chat and let you know @ www.utahdoulas.org. (If you are not in Utah you can start with www.dona.org (Doulas of North America).)

If you have already picked a provider and want to make sure they are on board with natural birth ask them questions such as: "How often do you feel it is necessary to cut an episiotomy on a first time mom?" or "How many of the mom's who tell you they want to birth without an epidural actually achieve their goal?" If you provider is unable (or unwilling) to give you a direct answer... RUN. If his answer to the first question is a high number, you are incredibly likely to have an episiotomy.
Two doulas I LOVE have both been heard numerous times saying: "YOU CAN'T GET PIZZA AT A CHINESE RESTAURANT!!" If you choose a provider who loves to cure women of their pregnancies he will most certainly cure you! But pregnant women are NOT SICK and we certainly don't need to be cured, or treated like every other pregnant woman. Our needs are unique and our own birthing desires CAN BE unique as well.

Another trap we fall into is the "it's too late to switch" trap. This is never the case! Please don't ever settle or sacrifice your birth experience because you are nervous about switching providers. If you don't get an answer you like from your chosen provider, find someone who gives you the correct answer. I promise your baby has no emotional attachment to the first person you chose. Switching to the right provider at 38 weeks is better than staying with the wrong one and getting a less than ideal birth experience because of unnecessary interventions.