Faith in Birth

So I had the honor of attending the birth of a beautiful baby boy last Friday. Not only did it strengthen my faith in birth and the birthing process, it made me grateful for that faith. I was invited to attend this birth by a wonderful women anticipating the birth of her 3rd child. I totally believe that I had a huge advantage in this matter for several reasons!

#1- She is a very close personal friend of mine!! She trusts me, I trust her!

#2- She has had 2 previous un-medicated birth experiences, so she already believed in herself!

#3- Because I have had children un-medicated I personally KNOW that women's bodies can birth babies!! I understand the sheer strength that comes with being a woman!



This was a scheduled induction at 37 weeks because the mother has a history of preterm labor and is also a gestational diabetic. I have to admit I do have reservations regarding induction, but she agreed with her Doctor that it was really necessary in order for her to have an optimal outcome. So I arrived at the hospital shortly after she did. I was anxious and excited because I knew that she would be successful in reaching her goal of having another un-medicated birth. It is a beautiful feeling to feel so connected to another woman in such a personal way.



The birth was much longer than the mother had anticipated lasting about 8 hours. The nurse had read through her birth plan upon admission and had asked her several questions regarding her desires and let us know in advance that if she did something contrary to the birth plan that she would like a reminder from us so that she could give her the birth that she wanted. (The nurse seemed to be afraid that she might count while pushing, or take the baby away when he was born due to habit!) The process went as smooth as anticipated, (kind of like driving on a dirt road) and the mother was very flexible with what she was willing to do in order to have as much her way as possible. This meant that she really had to compromise a lot from how she had hoped things would be. She was prepared for this however, and because she felt in control of the situation, none of the little dips seemed to phase her. She was a trooper!

So for the first several hours I spent a lot of time "comforting" a very calm woman! Seriously, she breathed through every contraction without so much as an ounce of tension. I was shocked that on 20 of pitocin she was dealing with contractions with ease and control. It wasn't until the contractions finally started dilating her cervix that I really started to be a major part in her getting through every contraction and staying on top of them as they came. When it finally came time for her to push, the Dr. was called into the room! (This is not the standard of practice, but because she had such quick previous births the Dr. came in for the entire pushing process.) It was discovered by the Dr. at this point that the baby was posterior, or "face-up." A posterior baby is not the ideal position to push a baby out in, it also explained a lot about the intensity of the contractions, and the pressure that she could not find the words to describe. Either way, the Dr. allowed her to push her baby in a semi-sitting position with her legs where they were comfortable (even though the nurse desperately wanted to pull her legs back towards her head!) We all watched patiently and silently as she pushed her little guy out! No cues from the nursing staff, no one counting or telling her to "push, push, push" or hold her breath. It might be shocking to people, but the desire to push is not something that can be avoided and it is actually instinctual to push! So after about 20 minutes of pushing, the little guy entered the world "face-up" and perfect.

So even though the birth didn't go exactly how the mother would have pictured it, it followed the plan as closely as possible. The interventions that she had hoped to avoid were avoided, and she had total control over every decision made during the birth process. She didn't go to the hospital to "have them help her have the baby" she went there to let them have the pleasure of watching her birth her baby all on her own, and that's just what she did!

Birth!

So I attended the birth of my niece on the 8th of October. She is beautiful! My sister and her husband are amazing! The birth reminded me over and over again of Laura Lund's article. Picking your provider is key to having the experience that you want/deserve. I have come to the conclusion that there are 2 attitudes you may want to stay away from in choosing a provider.

#1-"All that matters is that the baby is healthy." While the health of the baby is very important, most healthy babies are born that way because their parents made a healthy baby and the mom avoided using substances that could damage the health of the baby while she was pregnant. A healthy baby is OF COURSE the outcome that all women want but remember: YOUR HEALTH AND SATISFACTION WITH YOUR ROLE IN THE BIRTH MATTERS TOO!!!! Some providers may go against all of your wishes and tell you after all is said and done that at least the baby is healthy... as if they made him/her that way! Don't let anyone tell you that you don't matter! You do!!!!!

#2- You can't plan birth. Everyone knows that we can not calculate exactly how a birth can go but with the right provider you can plan to avoid certain interventions regardless of the twists and turns of the birthing process. This means if you do not want an episiotomy you don't have to get one! If you don't want continuous fetal monitoring but must have it, you can be hooked up to a telemetary unit and not be strapped to your bed! If you want to walk, use a birth ball, or have hydrotherapy (bath or shower) in the hospital, all of these things are possible even if you MUST be monitored continuously, provided you have talked to your caregiver ahead of time. A birth plan is not an outline of how you plan the birthing process to go. It is a guideline of what interventions you do and DO NOT want done to you during the process and a reminder of your ideal birth. I recommend that you research a lot and come up with a birth plan that outlines your desires and take it to your provider even on your first appointment. If the Dr. smirks at something, or tries to convince you that certain things are ridiculous and you've done the research... find another provider. Because in the end, what matters most is that you feel accomplished by your role in the birth of your creation.

I recently watched a video on U-tube, a clip from Monty Pythons the meaning of life. It is actually a funny little sketch about the birth of a child. There are two things that the "Dr." says to the patient that I find to be appalling, but have seen in the birth of my niece. "Don't worry dear, we'll soon have you cured!" Some providers approach labor as the onset of a disease and seem to completely believe that they are there to cure you, rescue you, save you from your own body. In another part the patient asks the Dr. "What do I do?" He replies, "Nothing dear you're not qualified!" When you are visiting with your Dr. and asking him questions about interventions and birth, ask yourself if you hear either of these things in his answers. My sister heard them, and disregarded them. In the end, her provider proved to have no intentions of following her birth plan. Instead he CURED her and SAVED her baby and left her feeling empty, and abused!