Last summer I knew that I was going to be taking out my IUD very soon. I was not sure what I would do for a provider/hospital. I have had 3 VERY different birth experiences with the providers I have used in the past. With the first 2 I used the same group of midwives. They are an incredible group but I really HATED the hospital where they attended births. I knew that I didn't want to have my baby there so I picked a different midwife practice based on the hospital they delivered at (which has a good reputation). It also was NOT a good experience as the midwives themselves proved to be very interventional and impersonal... not what I expected at all. I also realized that no matter what hospital you are at they are all similar in the way they handle infants, which is my biggest erk with the hospital system. I hate that they TAKE your baby. They "DELIVER" your baby (as if you didn't do all the work), they PERMIT you to LOOK at him/her, and then they take them away to stare at them under the light. No one asks permission to hand your baby back and forth or stick their finger in your little guys mouth. They take them for a "quick test" and bring them back when I'm finally calling out because I'm having an anxiety attack. Needless to say, I hate when they take my baby away from me for any period of time and I've always thought that there has got to be a better alternative but I've never found it.
I had heard about "crazy" women who dared to have their babies at home. I thought they were all insane and irresponsible. I'm not sure what prompted me to research it. Maybe it was the feeling that there was no better alternative. I went into my research very skeptical; wondering just how many women and infants were dieing from their own stupidity. What I found was incredible. It was exactly what I was looking for. Proof that birth is beautiful, natural and unflawed. Statistically, home birth is incredibly safe. For someone like me (who's history of child bearing is very simple) it actually looked like home birth was a safer alternative then birthing in the hospital. Home birth takes out the interventional aspect of birth that has become routine in the United States and gives birth back to nature. The statistics were proof enough to me that my body really does know how to have babies and that birth, when left to it's own accord, will happen smoothly and without complication. And so began my quest to attain my ideal birth.
I admit I was becoming increasingly frustrated as my due date came and went. I have never been "overdue" before and I became more and more nervous with each day that passed. What if my body DIDN'T know what to do? Maybe this whole "letting nature happen" thing was a bad idea. My midwife had complete faith in my body even though I was skeptical and at 12:05 a.m. on June 4th (the dawn of my 41st week) I woke to some very intense contractions and just enough blood to let me know that my body was serious. I have a history of fairly fast labors but have never been left to labor without my water being broken. I was excited to labor without intervention but nervous that with my membranes intact, labor would be long. Luckily for me, that was not the case.
My sister (AKA my doula) arrived around 12:30 and knew instantly that we were rockin' and rollin'. I had called my midwife (who lives 35 minutes away) shortly after I woke up and she arrived around 1:20. Labor was very intense from the time my sister arrived and when my midwife arrived I had already been in and out of the birthing tub.
The water had felt so good at first but I had begun to overheat as the contractions got more intense. It was her suggestion that we add cold water that allowed me to get back into the tub, where I remained until little Colton was born at 3:20 into the hands of his daddy.
The labor itself was incredibly intense from start to finish. My midwife, her apprentice, my sister and my husband were my constant support. They took turns pushing on my hips and applying sacral pressure. They also encouraged me and reminded me of the incredible miracle that is labor and birth. No one told me when to push or rushed to check dilation before pushing was "permitted" nor did anyone insist that I push on "their" time or in a position that was most convenient for them. It was amazing to feel the "urge" to push and to go with my body as I knelt in the water. The midwife was frequently checking fetal heart tones and it was when the baby was all the way to the perineum, waiting to be pushed free that I heard the heart tones and knew that the baby needed to come then. As the midwife calmly and quickly moved to get oxygen for me, I made the decision to push past all the burning and pressure that crowning presents for me and his head emerged into the water along with a small loop of chord (which explains the low heart tones as his chord was being compressed). Shortly after, I pushed his little shoulders free and he was lifted out of the water by his dad. It was so incredible.
The fact that he didn't cry right away was not terrifying and did not bring any panic to the environment. My midwife very peacefully lifted his little face to hers and puffed into his tiny mouth/nose. A small exhale/grunt was heard and she repeated the process until about 5 breaths later, when a loud cry echoed through the house. This entire process took about 20 seconds. I was at ease the entire time. And with that cry, the baby was handed to me and we were left to bond in the tub as hot water was added and the midwife poured warm water over his tiny body.
The birth and everything to follow was exactly what I wanted, what I knew birth should be. I was thrilled to avoid the audience of strangers staring at my bulging bottom as I pushed. (At my third birth which was intended for just me and my husband, there were at least 5 other "health care workers" besides my midwife in the room while I pushed.) I was also so excited to have my baby with me and my family. I loved being the one who provided my son with all that he needed and also that I was in control of who touched him, who held him, when they last washed their hands, whether or not they were sticking their fingers in his mouth and that NO ONE was going to take him away from me. I also was happy to avoid the interventions the hospital does without any form of consent and without your knowledge like erythromycin ointment (intended to avoid the transfer of gonorrhea and chlamydia from mom to babies eyes) and vitamin K injection. Really truly, it was perfect and beautiful. I had been seeking this, I just had no idea that I would find exactly what I was looking for right here in my own home.
Now I don't want anyone to assume that I believe that having a home birth is something that every woman should do. I truly believe that women should birth their babies in the environment where they feel safest. It would be impossible to enjoy your birth in any environment if you are uncomfortable or feel unsafe in that place. As a doula my goal is to help women achieve a birthing experience that is as close to their ideal as possible. Just wanted to share with all of you my beautiful birth.
